Wednesday, May 25, 2011


Well, here I am now.. after days didn’t update my blog.. ahaa… anybody misses me? (guess no one..)
            Actually, I wanted to talk about me, my, mine, and myself (WHAT-SO-EVER!!)
Its about my D.R.E.A.M.. since young, I wanted to be a doctor as I love to see inner part of human body. HELL YEAH!!! Especially when it comes into surgery.. WHOAA!! That’s totally kewl!! And adventurous!! (for me).. most of the channel I tuned to when the ‘magic box’ a.k.a TV in front of me, is @^#%#%&$&%.. ahahhaa!! Well, honestly I forgot the channel is, since its been half a year I left home.. (emm yes,, I dun watch TV in hostel.. even I do, it don’t have ASTRO..LAME!!).. back to old ones,, one day my friend got injury.. gaaah!! Spooky dowh!! The blood .. (EEPP!! Lemme explain 1st the injury before proceed to the blood thingy.. ~ he cut his finger off.. accidently of course!) was so dark.. RED DARK.. eeewwwhh!! Then I realise that im afraid of blood actually. So, as I determined to be a doctor (which the basic for sure is not afraid of blood and pain..) I teach myself of not afraid of it.. then I did it! Cz in the other time I witness bad injury, I managed to watch it closer.. HOHOHOHOO!! Once again (actually, that’s the first one..).. I Won over myself..
Then, my friend gave me a vid which totally scary as there have many accidents and serious injuries.. broken bones, cut head off, and many more! Then I was about to train myself of not afraid of it.. before I did it, suddenly (when I was in matriculation.. I was grown up already!!) I got teacher training offer.. (damn! Being a teacher was never my plan!) .. I was hoping I don’t have to go.. BUT.. BUT.. BUT.. (there’s always be BUT!!) my father was asking (not begging, nor forcing) me to go for the offer.. hhmm.. what to do.. my heart broke into pieces.. I have to fulfill his dream instead of mine since all these years im studying to gain success just for them, and they(my parents) deserve to get what they want from me.. so I just follow his words..
I was trying to chill myself on that time by thinking of “I don’t have to train myself to be brave of facing the extreme spooky thingy..” yeahh,.. that’s the bright side actually,.. but leaving my very own dream was a big disaster and really set me down.. trying to chill myself?? DOESN’T WORK OUT!
 On the last night before leaving matrix, my bestieys,, Cherry and Steph asked me our for dinner (at café!).. then I cried out my sadness to them.. then Cherry said , ‘u will be there for something.. you got the offer for something..because it is the power of something’ .. she said that phrase was said to her when she got matrix instead of JPA.. yeaahh. The power of something.. I still hold that words till now.. im still looking for the ‘something’ .. during im looking for it, I’ve gained much ‘life’.. all the bitter sweet in life.. guess that is the ‘something’ that was waiting for me all these time.. time to time, I fell in love to this institute (teacher training) and to  this carrier (not so strong enough, but I still have the feeling of love over it..).. so, thanks to cherry for her words.. and still, im looking forward(more) for the ‘something’..

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