should i cry?

'that' feeling is coming back.. i am so down. maybe this is all because of my stupid actions. i always makes him can't breathe and now, i deserve this. he started to keep away from me. he is no longer the old him that i knew. he now will ignore me. the more i want his attention, the more he's trying to run away. i was so sad. so down. feeling down deep at the valley.

like my friend said, we want them to love us, not control them to love us. she was right. she has opened my eyes. but now, i guess its just too late. he is ignoring me.

so i text him, i said that i understood for what he is facing now, for why is he doing this to me. and i said i'm going to give him some space and time. i will never ever contact him or try to disturb him. i will wait for him to contact me. if he's not, and it meant to be like that i will try to endure the pain that i will face and just let him go.

honestly, deep inside i wanna cry. yeah cry.

THE FIRST EYE SIGHT

When having a fun noon time with my sister in helping her creating the ‘Happy Blessed Wedding’ banner, suddenly a voice from the 5sq feet corridor calling for the home master, which is supposed to be my dad. I opened the door and saw a very good looking guy with a big box asked about my family’s race. With a big question mark on my head, I called my dad to handle this guy. He will do the Q&A session with that guy. Then my dad came and tell him we are Chavacano (Philippine’s race with Spain verbs). That guy simply gave a big smile and says “I don’t believe that..” I was so mad and was like “who the hell you think you are?” I almost speak those lines loudly. Then my dad asked for his aim coming over. Oh yeah, he’s a salesman form a company selling a water filter. But he didn’t tell his job directly. He was just saying that he wants to show how that product will work to us and if we’re not interested then he’ll leave. In my thought, it was a good starting to get the costumers’ attention.

My dad can’t make the decision as the one who controlled the money is my mum. So he wakes her up and I stay at the door looking at that guy. Then he ask me if I still on school bench, and asked for my age, so I told him I’m 20. Then he smiled and ask my month of birth. October. Another big smile came along with a question, ‘Which date?’. 7^th was my answer and he laugh. Then he told me that he’s also 20 and was born on October 27^th. I’m 20 days older than him.

Later on my dad came and he told my dad about our conversation just now. He’s good in talking. Then my dad invite him to come in so he started to make some demo and explanation about the water filter. My dad has waiting for years to buy that thing and for him, this is the time. I can see my dad really wants to have it. So I helped him to persuade mum so she’ll agree to buy it. Mom did refuse and we both already give up. Suddenly she calls me and I tried to explain everything to her, about the goodness of the water filter *as if I’m the salesman = =’

Not long after that, she agreed. Big rejoice happen in me, my dad and the salesman. But I told him to give us the brand new one, the one that still in plastic. So he said that he have to wait for his supervisor as the new one in their van drove by his supervisor which is at the moment his supervisor at other place selling those water filter. It took hours before his supervisor could make it there. He’s been staying there from about 12pm until 8pm. Along the hours, there are many things we talked about. He also got to know almost everything about my family background. He teased me too, with the support from my dad. Ah yeah, they’re both good in teasing me = =’’. He also have asked for my phone number as he is about to open new bill as we’re buying that product under my name.

After the supervisor have arrived, then they attached that thing on our wall but his colleague forgot the device (used to attached that product) at the previous place. So the guy who have been waiting for hours in my house get mad and says they will attach that thing on next day. So they went back to hotel. At the moment they leave, I felt something missing and really hope that the guy will contact me…..

At the same night when I was strumming my guitar, suddenly a text from an unknown number appears on my phone and a big smile carved on my face. I know that’s him! And yep, it’s really him as he admitted it. And there goes the new chapter of my love life.. hehe !

HE'S MY DIAMOND